BUNKO!!!

BUNKO HERE I COME!! I have not played in a long time. I'm not sure I even remember how. I am excited to go. Excited to be with the girls from the dentist that I use to work with. I miss them! I miss the friendships with these girls! I'm excited to have a few hours away from the kids. I'm not excited to be away from my bed though! LOL! I know sounds LAME, but the last few months that's all I want to do after work is crash just crawl in bed and crash! I'm always cold, so when I get home that's all I generally have strength to do is pull the covers back and climb on in!! It's OK call me "Mother Of The Year!" I've been called worse!! :) Anyways, wish me luck with my Bunko skills! (or lack there of!!)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Well here goes, headed into a new year! With the new year I can expect a ton of changes. Changes that I wish my kids and I did not have to face.
I can not grasp the issue some have with agency! All because we have free agency in our lives the lives of so many people have been affected due to just one persons decisions. Decisions that will change the rest of a lot of our life's forever. I'm not sure that I will ever learn to deal with a divorce that I don't want! Instead of the kids adjusting to the change, I feel like they are taking it harder with each passing day. I can only hope and pray that this is a new start, a start at some point to better our lives.
I am glad the holidays are behind us. It was pretty hard on the four of us. I am so grateful for the wonderful ward I am in. We have felt the out pouring love from our neighbors and ward family over this holiday season. Thank you so very much to all of you that went over and beyond to make the Christmas season bearable. Neighbor's that came to put up our lights, did the 12 days of Christmas, invited us over for Christmas dinner, offered to help provide a Christmas for my kids, come and shovel our drive way and side walks, and leaving us such generous gifts. We are so blessed to have you in our lives. You have shown us more love and support than those that we thought were our family. We love and appreciate all of you!

"I believe in the family where there is a husband who regards his companion as his greatest asset and treats her accordingly; where there is a wife who looks upon her husband as her anchor and strength. The cultivation of such a home requires effort and energy, forgiveness and patience, Love and, endurance, and sacrifice; but it is worth all of these and more."
~~ Gordon B. Hinckley~~

Does this really happen? When both partners are putting forth this kind of effort? I remember a time when I had this. I long to find this someday. For not only myself, but for my sweet little children who need good example's in there life. A man that takes responsibility, takes his Priesthood seriously, that shows his family(mainly his sons)the roles of a father, an active Priesthood holder,and husband!!
Most of all I wish I could fix our family we had. I don't want to loose the relationship I had. I don't understand how people can just stop trying?! It breaks my heart. Unfortunately I have no say in this. You have chosen this for the kids and I. And I just have to pick up the pieces and focus on my sweet children who are my world. I could not imagine my life without them in it everyday. What a lonely life you must have now!

~My little DARLINGS~

What do I say when after family prayer Gaige says, "Mom don't worry, Dad will come home, we're his family."? And when Trey cries almost daily still and it's a month later cause he wants his Dad home saying, "I want my family reunited." or "I just want it to be like it use to be." Treyson is by far having the hardest time, and showing a lot of emotion. What do you say? I have tried to explain some things to them, but they don't really get it. They are old enough to know what's going on, but yet it just makes no sense to them.

To my little ones:
I am sorry you are hurting. If I could take this away and change things I would do it in a heart beat. Don't ever forget how much you are loved.There are so many people that love you and are worried about your well being. I love you more than I can express. Thank you for choosing me as your mom. You guys are so little, but yet always show concern for mom. I'm sorry that when you go with Dad you now worry about leaving me behind. Thanks for thinking of me right now, but I want you to focus on the time you have with your Dad and enjoy it! You guys are my most prized possession and I will do anything I can within my means to protect you from the evils of the world and make sure you are raised in a loving home with the gospel in your lives.
ALL MY LOVE,
MOM